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In this blog I will write about everything that has to do with being a mum and a woman. It will be about my personal experiences as well as about things that I find interesting and which I want to share. It will also be about my faith in God. Please let me know that you visited my blog, by posting a comment.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Letter to my 17 year old self.

Today's optional post topic is a letter to your younger self. So I decided to write a letter to my 17 year old self.

Dear 17 year old me,

I know that a girl from your school with your type of hair, has recently put those ‘curly perm’ curls in her hair and after  chemically straightening your hair for years, you also want the same curls.
Don’t do it. You will end up in a hair salon where they will tell you that you can’t get the curls unless you cut all the hair off that is previously straightened and even though you don’t want that , the hair dresser will tell you, that she will start cutting your hair to make it even and she will cut so much off that everyone thinks that you might as well let her cut off the straightened hair because she has cut a lot of your hair already.  So she will do that and you will get the curly perm that you desired so much.
But it is a very short do, so it will end up looking nothing like the curls of that girl. You will not like it. And your hair will never be as long as it was back then. You will find out much later that you have natural curls that you love and you will keep your natural hair for years for that reason, even though there are times in which you yearn for straight hair but you are too afraid to lose your natural curls, so you will stick with them and only now and then use a flat iron to straighten your hair. Your choice for natural hair will also be because you hope that your hair will grow long again and even longer than it has ever been but you will not make enough effort to give your hair the extra care that it needs, to retain length, so it will not work much.

Me with natural curls a few years ago

You have done well in passing from the HAVO and because you have math and physics, you believe that your best choice in study is physiotherapy. Think about it some more. It will be nothing like you expected, really very medical, because you need  to know all names of bones and muscles. You will not like it and will not be successful in completing it. You will decide to a totally different study  after 1 year and move back to Suriname where you first do a preparation year at the university because you need to have the subject Economy to be allowed to study Law.
You will pass this and start Law but will never finish it but it will always keep you  thinking; maybe one day I will still finish my Law studies.  It is something your late father always wanted you to finish and you told him that you would.  And you will never give up on the possibility to do it because your dad also got a university degree when he was in his sixties and he received the title of professor in Dutch literature.
You will end up finishing some other education which you never expected and which I am sure your dad would’ve been proud of too. You end up studying Childcare and Early Childhood Education when you will be a lot older. But it will change your life so much and you will desire to even study further in this area.
I know you think that you are ready to live on your own, while you start your physiotherapy study but you are not. You don’t have a choice because your mother decides to move back to Suriname because of sickness of her partner. You also want to be close to the school, where you are studying so you don't have to travel far, so you decide to move to a city where you hardly know anybody. But living on your own will not be as great and easy as you thought.  You will not have a tv and you will not have any nice house mates (only two strange guys) and not a lot of good contacts where you live. Even though you do have some friends, you will feel quite lonely in your room and you will not like being alone so much and this will stop you from really being able to study like you should.  When you move back to Suriname, where you start your law study , studying goes much better for you. You only go live on your own again when you are much older and then you can handle it better.
Don’t worry about growing up and being independent, everybody does that on his own pace and you will get there on your time. Even though you are 17, inside you are still a little girl. Don't worry, you will end up just fine.


Current me.

What would you like to say to your younger self ?
I would love to hear from you.


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